Days like today...
I don't really know what I am doing. The feeling of not belonging kicks in again. I'm sure tomorrow I will feel better. I'm considering moving to Ann Arbor or maybe towards Warren closer. I have some freinds in Ann Arbor and my boys have family there. Part of me likes living in Detroit. But I dont have a community I belong to.
I want to be substitute teaching right now but I do not have daycare at the moment I'm waiting for the paperwork to process.
Zaydin will turn 3 on Friday in 3 days. He is talking alot better and more clearly it's really adorable. Sebastian and Zaydin are fighting all the time and it is absolutely exhausting.
The most thing I am excited for is my trip to Albania. I have started looking for flights just to look around. I'm still saving money up. It's the one thing I am looking forward to right now.
Other then that I'm confused alot but that's part love and living right.
Until next time
Much love
Dashuri
Teela Love
Tuesday, January 7, 2020
Wednesday, January 1, 2020
2020 Heres to a new decade💖
January 1, 2020
Wow it's been 4.5 years since I last wrote in here. I have 2 children now both boys. Sebastian will be 5 next month and Zaydin will be 3 next week. They are absolutely incredibly amazing and such a beautiful gift.
Their father and I are no longer together. We split over a year ago. It got messy, but now we are on better terms. He sees them every other week right now. His help definitely is appreciated.
Now to back track to 2014...
I got my name changed 💖
I got my degree in social work and I never worked harder for anything on my life. It was very tough and very rewarding. I was a stay at home mom for 18 months which was rewarding as well. I went back to work and a few months later found a job in the field but starting as a case aide. Which worked perfect for me as I was pregnant. No one would hire me because I was pregnant. So finally one interview I didn't tell them I was pregnant and i got a job. In 2016.
In January 2017 I gave birth to my beautiful baby boy Zaydin born on his grandfather's birthday. My dad💖. After 5 weeks I went back to work and about 2 months later I became a foster care worker.💖
Working in the field of Social Work has its rewarding moments. However it is very demanding. I fought so hard to get here to only end up getting burned out and feeling like a complete failure. I was fighting my own demons from my past. I was triggered by so much that I never thought would happen. I moved many kids from foster homes to other foster homes or relatives. But in the end I got to move a set of 3 siblings home to their mother and another child to their mother.
I wrote reports after reports and petitions to terminate parental rights. That was one of the hardest parts for me. Knowing one day these children might be just as confused as I am. Not knowing their identity where they come from and so much more I could go on and on. But there's laws and policies. I seen parents not show up or even call to visit with their children, come high or drink to visits and fall asleep. I had a supervisor that I did not connect with at the beginning. But after supporting me through a termination trial we connected. To a point. I have such a deep respect for her and thank her for all the help she gave me. She will always have a special place in my heart. Some where along the way having to little children of my own, I just couldn't do it anymore. I left beyond burnt out in October 2018.
This job gave me so many answers that I had spent years researching. It showed me more love and different styles of parenting. It gave me proud moments and friendships for life. Respect and love for my friends still doing it. Love you!
In August 2018 I was introduced to a couple of Albanian songs and I fell in love with the music. I started to research the culture, country, and more music.
Now today I am learning the language and will visit the beautiful country of Albania 🇦🇱soon.
That's all for today.
Much love and respect always,
Teela Love
Wow it's been 4.5 years since I last wrote in here. I have 2 children now both boys. Sebastian will be 5 next month and Zaydin will be 3 next week. They are absolutely incredibly amazing and such a beautiful gift.
Their father and I are no longer together. We split over a year ago. It got messy, but now we are on better terms. He sees them every other week right now. His help definitely is appreciated.
Now to back track to 2014...
I got my name changed 💖
I got my degree in social work and I never worked harder for anything on my life. It was very tough and very rewarding. I was a stay at home mom for 18 months which was rewarding as well. I went back to work and a few months later found a job in the field but starting as a case aide. Which worked perfect for me as I was pregnant. No one would hire me because I was pregnant. So finally one interview I didn't tell them I was pregnant and i got a job. In 2016.
In January 2017 I gave birth to my beautiful baby boy Zaydin born on his grandfather's birthday. My dad💖. After 5 weeks I went back to work and about 2 months later I became a foster care worker.💖
Working in the field of Social Work has its rewarding moments. However it is very demanding. I fought so hard to get here to only end up getting burned out and feeling like a complete failure. I was fighting my own demons from my past. I was triggered by so much that I never thought would happen. I moved many kids from foster homes to other foster homes or relatives. But in the end I got to move a set of 3 siblings home to their mother and another child to their mother.
I wrote reports after reports and petitions to terminate parental rights. That was one of the hardest parts for me. Knowing one day these children might be just as confused as I am. Not knowing their identity where they come from and so much more I could go on and on. But there's laws and policies. I seen parents not show up or even call to visit with their children, come high or drink to visits and fall asleep. I had a supervisor that I did not connect with at the beginning. But after supporting me through a termination trial we connected. To a point. I have such a deep respect for her and thank her for all the help she gave me. She will always have a special place in my heart. Some where along the way having to little children of my own, I just couldn't do it anymore. I left beyond burnt out in October 2018.
This job gave me so many answers that I had spent years researching. It showed me more love and different styles of parenting. It gave me proud moments and friendships for life. Respect and love for my friends still doing it. Love you!
In August 2018 I was introduced to a couple of Albanian songs and I fell in love with the music. I started to research the culture, country, and more music.
Now today I am learning the language and will visit the beautiful country of Albania 🇦🇱soon.
That's all for today.
Much love and respect always,
Teela Love
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